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Bangkok Nightlife - Minus the Chickens

Posted by Lance Powers

Hello handsum man. The short but simple phrase that used to stim me to half mast now nearly induces vomiting. If you are a foreigner living in fun city for more than a few months you are certainly familiar with the mating call of the not so elusive Isaan bar girl. If you are still looking for a night of whiskey fueled sport sex then by all means this phrase will still bring a sadistic smile to your pollution stained faces. But what if you are a long stay and looking for a real girlfriend in Bangkok? One that doesn't always have a sick mother, buffalo, numerous foreign sponsors, or a heart throbbing tale of wo and sad circumstance. Forget about Q-Bar, CM2, Mystique and Lucifers, as it just ain't gonna happen for you there my friends. Most Thai women with any endearing qualities and not working an agenda would not be caught dead in these places. Why? Because they are filled with whores and their prospective customers.

The more long term farangs I meet in Bangkok, the more I realize how depressed many of my brethren are. After discussing our sexual triumphs with the well used whore contingent our conversations always seem to steer towards one subject: Where the hell are all these perfect girls I see at the mall or ordering noodles on my soi? Where do they go for a night out with the girls? Many of you will know these places but judging from the farang attendance therein I would say the majority do not. I will do my best to detail some of the locations where to find a gorgeous Thai female, who actually has an education and job that doesn't include smoking sausages in short time hotels.

Thong Lor - This is where the high class and wannabe elite preen and pose in the hopes of being seen by some equally ridiculous hi-so fool wearing his sunglasses in the bar. Some good discos in this area include: Escudor, Gwatamou, and Boose. The farang contingent is less than 5%. Dress sharp and act the part or you are not only going home alone but not likely to have much fun either. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, bring your brown skinned former Nana go-go bar girlfriend to any of these places. She won't like it and you won't enjoy the stares and whispers either. The Witch's Tavern is also on soi Thong Lor if you are into the pub scene. Girls drink free on Saturday nights so that's the night to hit that place.

Ratchada Soi 4 - This is by far my favorite area to hunt prey as I have had great luck and recently met my current girlfriend here. Hollywood and Dance Fever are the big scale discos but the real fun is to be had in many of the small bars outside. At Bazu I recently bought 2 bottles of 100 pipers for 800 baht and was swarmed with women before finishing my third drink. Remember to smile, be courteous, and keep your freaking hands off some guys' girlfriend at all costs. There are about 10 places to choose from and Moon Sabai and a few others will stay open till sun up. The later it gets the easier it is to pull chicks. Hooking up with some Thai dudes is going to increase your chances by about 1000%. Speaking Thai is also a darn good idea.

Royal City Avenue (RCA) - Any taxi can take you to this place. RCA is a winding road that links Petchaburi Road with Rama 9. It is actually quite a sight to behold. Several massive discos line this soi pumping out hip hop and Thai pop for Bangkok's dek dek scene. That is you will be hard pressed to find anyone over 25 here. This is good and bad, but for eye candy it is good good good. If you are going to wheel chicks here you had better know some Thai and try to look as young as possible. As always be on your best behavior as Thai youth are sometimes known for fighting and other hooliginary once the Whiskey sets in. By this I mean avoid approaching girls with a group of young Thai boyfriends and focus on the girls operating in small groups and you'll more often than not be welcomed enthusiastically. I have had good luck here when I was accompanied by some of my sharper dressed male Thai friends. Also if you strike out completely you can hit the Siam Hotel around the corner for some after hours drinking and body shopping.

Hopefully this small bit of information will prevent some of my brothers from falling victim to many of Bangkok's unsavory vixens. There is a whole other world outside Nana and the Sukhumvit area that is normally priced and loads of fun, but nobody is anxious to help you find it. Good luck and happy girling.

Posted Sep 24, 2004 at 02:43 PM | Permalink |