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Territorial Pissings

Posted by Lance Powers

This next article attempts to serve as a manual for a common tactic employed by all Thai girls which I like to refer to as 'territorial pissings', or TP for short. This is the subtle practice of leaving behind gentle reminders in the abode of her mate so as to alert any potential females as to her mans current relationship status. I am positive that any farang reading this is nodding his head in recognition of this skillful yet terribly annoying practice. Often your 2nd string girl has grown tired or resentful as her role as occasional sex toy and will employ this practice to ruin your main relationship. Common techniques include the following:

Hair: By far the most common technique - many TG's will leave behind their long black easily noticeable hair for your wife or girlfriend to find. I have spent many frantic mornings combing my condo for girl hair. I have found that using a piece of gum or scotch tape works best for collecting this annoyance in a hurry and disposing of it. Do not forget to check the bed and shower as these are commonly missed yet easily spotted locations.

Earrings, jewelry & miscellaneous bobbles: Another favorite of any TG is leaving behind a set of earrings or hair tie in a location you are unlikely to find it. This is very effective as you will be left with few words when your primary Thai girlfriend discovers it. I once had a girl stuff a set of earrings in my sock drawer which was quickly discovered by my live in girlfriend. Very nasty indeed.

Tissues, make-up & female hygiene products: I saw this tactic used very recently and I have to admit it took me by surprise as I had already scoured my room for any common markings. What I had missed was an innocent tissue in my bathroom garbage which had been used to blot some sex kitten's lipstick. Can you say busted? Also be on the look out for menstrual napkins, make-up, and other female specific products.

Bite marks, scratches & hickies: Again this tactic is quite common and will seem innocent, playful or even erotic during sex, but believe me this activity carries a direct and clever motive. I once found myself explaining to my sweetheart that the bite marks and scratches all over my body were the result of playing around with one of my drunken farang friends during a nasty whiskey binge. Embarrassingly this obviously did not fly with my girl and I consequently found her doing daily body inspections and leaving behind her own bite marks in protest.

Condoms, lube and Viagra: If your girl doesn't have a running inventory of these items she simply must not be Thai. Normally she will have inventoried any item that may be used for sex and memorized not only the amount of rubbers in your kit but also its exact location. She will also have counted your Viagra tablets if you are using them and are stupid enough to tell her what they are for. Be wary farangs this is the number one way to get nailed. Keep a secret cache of these items to avoid any uncomfortable confrontations. I keep mine locked in a file cabinet along with the whips and tri-pronged dildo's. You best do the same.

Remember, Thai girls are extremely clever when dealing with infidelity and they have centuries of practice using these techniques due to the fact that many Thai guys are known to be extremely promiscuous. Chances are good that the security guard in your condo or apartment will at some time be quizzed of your evening activities and who comes and goes to your room. A monthly gift of Sangsom and cigarettes has quelled any desire for my security detail to rat me out quite nicely. I would also recommend a short yet firm discussion with your room maid if you have one. If you think you are being watched, chances are you probably are.

Posted Oct 14, 2004 at 09:33 PM | Permalink |