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The Legend of Lightning Bo

Posted by Lance Powers

As I sit down at my favorite red pork and noodle soup stand (you know the ones with the red 4 on them) I hear the familiar sound of Lightning Bo as he hammers the throttle ripping down Soi 24. In fact his bottle rocket mod on his Honda is so loud that I spill my ice tea. "That sonuvabitch" I tell the noodle vendor. "Yeah, police catch him last week playing stupid with motorbike. He have to pay money but he still play."

I used to not really give a crap who rode my ass home. I would whistle for a motorbike on soi 20, crack some jokes with my driver, and forget about it. Then one night as I hopped on with a driver I smelled the distinct odour of Mekhong whiskey. "No big deal" I tell myself, "these guys are always pissed". The driver told me his name was "Bo" and asked me "Hey farang you like fast? Watch this!". I hung on for dear life as Bo took the straightaway on soi 20 with all pistons firing. The bike screamed so loud I thought if I survived I would surely be deaf. I saw my life flash before my eyes and I remember thinking how sad that I had lived 30 long years to die on a Thai motorbike with a drunk Evel Knievel wannabe.

I got Lightning Bo to drop me off a good few blocks from my condo with a look of feigned amusement on my face. "oh yeah, sanook, sanook! Thanks a lot!", I lie. I quickly memorize his face so as not to use his services mistakenly again.

I don't know what the deal is with this guy. He thunders down the road with engines blazing every single day in a lame attempt to bolster his studly image. I see him every day. Near my confectionary there is a whiskey dispensing hawker, and this crazy bastard is sitting there all day pounding the Mekhong. I have even made the mistake of drinking with him but that's another story.

Anyways my friends and I think we can convince Bo to do some jumps in the empty lot behind my condo. We figure he can jump 30 soi dogs and a noodle stand. So far the prize money is set at 500 baht and a bottle of SangSom. Stay tuned.

Posted Jan 08, 2005 at 05:56 PM | Permalink |