Oh man. Where do I start? I got dragged along to this, yet another lame excuse for FWFW (Fat Wallet Farang Wannabes) to get drunk for free and try to snag the kind of woman who likes the kind of man she thinks she's snagged. Then again, how does it differ in this regard from all the well-known trendy nightspots?

If I open another "trendy" nightspot, I'm gonna jack up the prices on opening night, not open the bar.

Tiny hint for anybody who hopes to run a slick, trendy watering hole, especially one marketed as a chill out venue par excellence: hire bartenders who can tend bar.

I find it SO much easier to chill when I don't have to use aikido on all the cocky, arrogant bell ends who keep pushing their way to the bar.

Hint for budding bartenders: learn to keep your eye on the punters, ok? They don't appreciate it when you cater only to the people who jump half-way across the bar to get their order in ahead of everyone who's been waiting ten minutes for you to wake up.

Hint to owners/managers of said venues: on opening night (You know, the one with the open bar?) instead of alternating between repeated attempts to learn how a bottle opener works and trying to dance, you could, I dunno, serve some of the customers on the other side of the bar.

The lone silver-cat-suited female dancer on the bar and the video camera/projector were, uh, lame.

Good points:

I was there.

DJ was not at all bad.

There actually was some notable female action.

Relatively convenient location (you can alway bail for Narcissus).

Bad points:

I was there. Nod to Groucho Marx, na?

Venue is too small, ceiling on most of the ground floor is so low it almost messes up your hair and definitely makes the place too hot, smoky and uncomfortable.

Combination of dark surfaces, poorly-placed uplighting and strange shapes mean that, sooner or later, in a drunken haze, you're likely to break your ankle or your neck. Neck fractures make it easier to chill but can really put a damper on the evening.

The steel chains used as curtains at the toilet entrances are just waiting to be used as weapons in an otherwise minor disagreement.

Bottom line: these were not GREAT BARTENDERS. I don't want a bartender who puts on a great show of mixing everybody else's drink, I want my drink.

"the elite of Bangkok"? well, yeah maybe it was, ha ha.

Anyways, thanks guys, -hiccup- for the open bar....stay off the booze before you write your next press release, ok?

Oh yeah, stupid me, I forgot to include a "key metric" - the lone Russian hooker who showed up didn't even bother to stay more than ten minutes.